47 Comments
User's avatar
Melissa Sarno's avatar

Sandwich generation is NO JOKE and my kids don’t have the same needs as your son. Godspeed.

Chris B. Writes's avatar

Thank you for seeing me, Melissa. Been a tough week.

The Rebellion Within - Hattie's avatar

I've now realised why I love your poetry so much, you make me see things differently. My eldest is 16, and he has autism, he's amazing. I've always look in at the start, never at the center. Thank you Chris ♥️

Chris B. Writes's avatar

Thank you so much Hattie!

Linda Olson's avatar

Caregiving on both sides is exhausting at its best. And when troubles come, you pray it’s not on both sides! Our young and our elderly are precious. Love abounds, while instructions don’t.

May you have the help you need when you need it. And may you find ways to care for yourselves.

Chris B. Writes's avatar

Thank you Linda, I really appreciate your kind words and support!

Dad Lives with Me's avatar

That middle is incredibly overwhelming. Find ways to step out of the circle, even for a few minutes, alone and together. It will feel like you don’t have time, but it’s the only way the middle is possible.

Chris B. Writes's avatar

Thank you Tina, for all your support

Patty Bee's avatar

It's very true. I like to add work as a third circle above, which crunches the white space even more. The trick, I think, is to actively seek out joy in the sandwich parts and peace in the white space.

Chris B. Writes's avatar

Very true about work and great advice Patty!

Hina Gondal's avatar

Stunning Chris ❤️

Chris B. Writes's avatar

Thank you so much Hina

Human Potential & Resilience's avatar

The middle is just as real, and those are the invisible moments at times where we learn and grow the most

Chris B. Writes's avatar

Agreed Allie!

AsukaHotaru's avatar

The empty middle of the Venn diagram... I hate when life makes a diagram and then refuses to put any relief in the overlap. >.<

Chris B. Writes's avatar

Thank you Asuka

James (HVR)'s avatar

Taking care of too many at once.

I relate on a smaller scale with ailing parents and a young child.

Relatable.

Chris B. Writes's avatar

Thank you for your empathy James. God bless you and your family.

Monica A Leyva's avatar

Chris, The poem refuses a beginning or an ending and instead remains suspended in the middle, which is exactly where so many caregivers live. Specifically, the ongoing overlap of needs, responsibilities, love, and exhaustion.

The line about there being no Venn diagram showing relief is especially powerful. It captures the feeling that caregiving is often discussed in terms of duty and devotion while the relentless compression of time, energy, and self can remain unseen.

A poignant piece . Monica

Chris B. Writes's avatar

Hi Monica, Thank you for seeing through to the heart of the matter. The “no Venn diagram showing relief” is also reflected in the graphic I used for the post, notice how the circle with the word “help” doesn’t overlap with the photos of us caring for our loved ones. It’s definitely been a tough week.

Monica A Leyva's avatar

Sending you and your family a very big hug.

Denise Servais's avatar

This captures the weight of sandwich caregiving, that feeling of being in the middle with no overlap of relief. “Just us here” is a powerful ending.

Chris B. Writes's avatar

Thank you for seeing that Denise, means a lot!

Alex Lynn Tx's avatar

Excellent share. The in between can be so very vast. I also appreciate the “Behind the Poem” portion. I am just exploring writing poetry. Real experiences are the foundation of my poems, but I lean heavy on visualization and metaphors to enable the reader to create their own connection/understanding of the piece. Would you mind if I adopted this practice for my poems? I’ll gladly name it something different. Let me know. Looking forward to reading more of your pieces.

Chris B. Writes's avatar

Of course you can Alex! No need to change the wording, thank you for reading.

Amy Catherine's avatar

I can only imagine how hard being a sandwich carer must be. I'm a sandwich carers of sorts between my two children, who have vastly different, yet uniquely complex needs. I feel hugely grateful that my elderly parents are currently fairly well and independent. As the responsibility will land on me if/when they become unwell or infirm.

Chris B. Writes's avatar

Thank you Amy!

Michele Cernese's avatar

Yep unfortunately some of us are thrust into the Sandwich generation. There is usually one from the family that takes on that responsibility. Your poem is beautiful Chris, I have been thinking of you & Mels new role & I am here if you need me.

Jen Reich's avatar

Sending care to you both as you navigate the overlap. Beautiful poem.

Chris B. Writes's avatar

Thank you Jen

FREYDA KOLINSKY's avatar

Thank God for you both.

Chris B. Writes's avatar

Thank you Freyda!